Presidential debates

The night after we visited the capitol in DC one of the kids had the idea that they should all write presidential speeches.  I figured they’d go to bed and forget about it but they worked on them in bed and the next morning they wanted to present their speeches.  So, ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to this forum of presidential nominees and invite you to consider the ideas spoken here when you cast your vote.

Our first speaker of the morning is Brielle Wach (video):

I am the presedent, everyone gets free cookies every friday, there for every one has to thank me.  and I thank you for wanting to eleked me.  all the poor get food in cans from some of you.  holfully everyone is nice to the poor.  the poor may hafe to eat out the trash can if they don’t have some food from everyone.  I love people who care for the poor.*

Miss Wach also presented a handout entitle “LAWS”.  The contents of said handout is provided below*:

• Do not J-walk
• Do not steel
• must be safe
• do not shoot enyone
• keep pets on leash
• Hold on to some one wile kroosing road
• Stay together
• never give up

Thank you Miss Wach!  Your passion for safety and helping the less fortunate will make you a great leader of our nation.

Our next candidate is Dacen Wach (video):

Hello ladies and gentlemen.  I am running for President.  My name is Dacen and I am part of the Dacen Party.  I am a great guy to be the President of the USA.  You have the choice to elect me.  But if you don’t it will be a major bummer…for both of us.  You should elect me because I have an awesome super power, and that is wisdom.  But, I can’t do it myself.  I also have an awesomer super power which is God!  Together we can change the world.  Yeah!  Please choose me. [after the video stopped he did a mic drop].**

There is no doubt why the Dacen Party chose Dacen as their candidate.  With both an awesome and an awesomer super power he is well suited to leading this country.  Thank you Mr. Wach.

Our final candidate is Caden Wach (video):

Thump thump. Is this darn thing on? Squeal!!! Oh there we go. Umm. Hello. I’m Caden Wach. And umm I’m here today because this family needs a dictator! Our world is so fragile and it needs someone to hold it together for us. You all are here today because you need someone. Someone for the people! I am that someone! When I’m dictator your lives will be so much easier. No hard decision making, no thinking of all the stuff you have to do. And if you vote for me, well, let me just say, great things are in store for you. You will be one of my favorites. So. You are here today for a choice. This is your choice. You can make this family better. You can choose me for I speak for the people! And remember voting for me will make you one of my favorites. And if you don’t…. On that happy note, VOTE FOR ME!!!!! Thank you, thankyouverymuch. Dangit how do you turn this off? Stupid mic stupid mic! Oh no not you little Mike. Dahhh craps now lookit wative done. Facepalm. Exeunt***

Definitley a risky move running as dictator but the thought of not having to think or make hard decisions does sound a bit like vacation, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.  Thank you Mr. Wach.

And thank you to all three candidates.  We wish you the best of luck in this coming election.

Miss Wach also presented a consolation letter to Mr. Dacen Wach that read:

Dear Dacen, I know mom and papa will pick me.  But I still realy love you more than you love me!  and you are so awsom!  I wish you could be famous!!!*

* Typed exactly as it was written by Brielle

** Transcribed from video

*** Email sent by Caden